You can have a boundary, they can have a reaction
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Hi friend, Once I set a boundary with a friend, and they were disappointed. Their reaction wasn’t dramatic, but mine was! I felt like I did something wrong. I wanted to fix it, or take it back, or smooth it over before they even got a word in. The thing I had to realize was… they still respected my boundaries. I was the one struggling with their emotions. I’ve had to learn to sit with this kind of tension, and I wanted to share this because I think a lot of you are also learning this lesson and dealing with this discomfort. I want you to remember that their disappointment doesn’t mean you did something wrong. And if you feel this way, you’re not alone. Here for you, Jose 💛
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Coaching with Jose
Hi friend, When hesitation to reach out or connect shows up, most people mislabel it. They call it avoidance. They call it lack of desire. They tell themselves they’re just “bad at connection.” That label matters more than we realize, because the story you tell yourself determines what you do next. When you shame hesitation, you lose choice. You either force yourself forward, overriding your body, or you pull all the way back and disappear. But here’s what I see again and again in my work:...
Hi friend, This is the part people don’t usually warn you about. You can make the right choice and still feel activated afterward. Discomfort after a boundary, a decision, or a moment of honesty doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means your nervous system is learning something new. Learning to sit with discomfort doesn’t happen on the first try. It happens through repetition. Through staying—again and again—even when your body wants to brace, explain, or rush away. In the video I'm...
Hi friend, Our collective nervous systems took another blow on January 7, when 37-year-old Renee Nicole Good—a mother, poet, and beloved neighbor in Minneapolis—was shot and killed by a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agent during a federal enforcement action. Her death has sparked grief, outrage, protests, vigils across the country, and a national conversation about force, fear, and who gets to live safely in this country. Whether you watched the footage, scrolled past it, or...