When your first instinct is to pull away...
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Hi friend, If you’ve ever found yourself shutting down or pulling away when things get uncomfortable in a relationship, you’re not alone. That instinct to retreat can be part of an avoidant attachment pattern, a learned way of protecting yourself when connection feels risky. But here’s an important reframe: Managing avoidant attachment doesn’t mean you’ll never pull away again. It’s not about perfection. It’s about awareness. The real growth happens in that small space between impulse and action. When you notice yourself starting to withdraw, pause and ask: 💭 Do I really need to run from danger right now? 💭 Or can I handle a little bit of discomfort today? That pause is power. It’s what allows you to choose connection instead of autopilot self-protection. Even if you still need to take a step back sometimes, doing it consciously is a big win. You’re not broken for needing space. You’re learning how to balance safety with closeness. That’s what healing looks like. Keep slowing down, keep choosing awareness, Jose 💛
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Coaching with Jose
Hi friend, When anxiety spikes, it can feel like you have to do something—send the text, fix the problem, make the decision, find relief right now. That sense of urgency can take over your whole body, pulling you into scramble mode before you even realize it’s happening. But here’s the truth: urgency doesn’t always mean danger. You can pause. You can breathe. You can give that wave of panic a little space instead of letting it run the show. 💨 Inhale. 💨 Exhale. Then ask yourself: “Am I trying...
Hi friend, Have you ever scrolled through Instagram and seen a post that made you pause—something like, “Let yourself be selfish”—and thought, yes! …or maybe hmm, that doesn’t feel right to me? Here’s the thing: most posts you see online exist somewhere on a spectrum. For someone who’s spent their life putting everyone else first, that “be selfish” message might be exactly the medicine they need. But for someone who’s already great at setting boundaries, maybe what they really need to...
Hi friend, Have you ever tried talking to your inner, younger self? It may sound a little unusual at first, but it can be incredibly grounding and healing. Here are two practices you can try right away: ✨ Use the name you were called as a child. Calling yourself by that name reconnects you to a time when you first needed care and reassurance. ✨ Speak in the language you grew up with. Your first language—the heart language spoken at home—still carries the grounding your younger self needs to...