Hi friend, I’ve been talking a lot about awareness lately, and I want to expand on something that doesn’t get named enough. Awareness doesn’t just bring clarity. Sometimes it brings emotion. The more aware you are, the more you can see your own patterns: How you adapted What you absorbed Who you learned to be in order to stay safe or belong. Noticing these things can stir up a lot. I’ve seen it in myself and in the people I work with: anger, sadness, defensiveness, and even grief. Grief isn’t...
8 days ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, When colorism is learned early, it doesn’t just live in our thoughts, it lives in our bodies. It shows up in how we react, how we manage ourselves, and how we adjust in real time. This week, we explored how lighter skin has often been treated as “good,” how darkness has been something to navigate or manage, and how those early messages continue to shape our sense of safety today. Undoing colorism doesn’t start with saying the perfect thing. It starts with building capacity:...
15 days ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, Hi friends, There’s a lot happening right now. And when things feel heavy, many of us default to showing what looks regulated, productive, or “together.” But that’s not always what’s real. What’s real is capacity. And capacity changes. Sometimes engagement looks like movement, showing up, speaking, and doing. Other times, it looks like stillness, rest, or letting yourself be exactly where you are without forcing forward motion. Both of these options can be honest. There’s a quiet...
22 days ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, When hesitation to reach out or connect shows up, most people mislabel it. They call it avoidance. They call it lack of desire. They tell themselves they’re just “bad at connection.” That label matters more than we realize, because the story you tell yourself determines what you do next. When you shame hesitation, you lose choice. You either force yourself forward, overriding your body, or you pull all the way back and disappear. But here’s what I see again and again in my work:...
29 days ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, This is the part people don’t usually warn you about. You can make the right choice and still feel activated afterward. Discomfort after a boundary, a decision, or a moment of honesty doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means your nervous system is learning something new. Learning to sit with discomfort doesn’t happen on the first try. It happens through repetition. Through staying—again and again—even when your body wants to brace, explain, or rush away. In the video I'm...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, Our collective nervous systems took another blow on January 7, when 37-year-old Renee Nicole Good—a mother, poet, and beloved neighbor in Minneapolis—was shot and killed by a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agent during a federal enforcement action. Her death has sparked grief, outrage, protests, vigils across the country, and a national conversation about force, fear, and who gets to live safely in this country. Whether you watched the footage, scrolled past it, or...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, With the new year upon us, we're all thinking about what's new and fresh, what resolutions to make, and what to change. I personally don't think that big change comes from our big moments and decisions. Instead, it comes from small moments where we choose to do something a little different. With consistency, our bodies start to realize that we'll be OK even if something does change. We won't disappear. This is how things shift. And it can happen even before the mind catches up and...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, The video I'm sharing with you this week depicts a common scene: me leaving early from a social engagement because my energy is drained. It happens pretty often this time of year with so many holiday parties and gatherings. I made this video because I want to encourage you to do what I do: to leave when you need to. Sometimes people will make comments like, "You're leaving already?" "Stay longer!" "Come on!" Even though it may not sound like it at the time, these are ways that...
2 months ago • 1 min read
Hi friend, Once I set a boundary with a friend, and they were disappointed. Their reaction wasn’t dramatic, but mine was! I felt like I did something wrong. I wanted to fix it, or take it back, or smooth it over before they even got a word in. The thing I had to realize was… they still respected my boundaries. I was the one struggling with their emotions. I’ve had to learn to sit with this kind of tension, and I wanted to share this because I think a lot of you are also learning this lesson...
3 months ago • 1 min read